This just sickens me.

Yet another homophobic bullying blog! I seriously need to start talking about other things.

I just got into a fight with my mother, my brother, who is 12, said
"Did you know my sister is gay? Ew." and pulled all these faces and made a bunch of disgusting noises to emphasize his disgust. Naturally, I told him off. My mother was sitting next to me, I assumed that because she says she is very welcoming of the LGBTI community she would back me up on this. But no, she told me off.

She says he is too young, and doesn't know what it means.

1. He is going into high school next year, where everyone knows the most bullying happens.
2. If he doesn't know what it means it is just MORE of a reason to teach him that it isn't a good thing to do. And teach him that there is nothing wrong with the LGBTI community.

It's situations like this that makes me question if I ever want to have children. I'm so afraid that they would hate my partner and I because we are lesbians. And with schools like they are now, it is very likely to happen.

Seriously, if you have kids, work with kids, or have anything to do with kids, please teach them that we are all EQUAL and just because we aren't the prince and princess that they see in fairy tales does not mean we deserve to be treated like this.

Internet withdrawal.

Gosh! That was tough! D: my modem went kaboom and we had to wait 10 days for the new one to arrive! And of course, on a certain friends birthday I come down with a nasty case of the flu... It was really sudden too, weird.
Anyway, nothing much has happened since then, I'm pretty much running on a flat, overly emotional battery at the moment.. Bah!

Yeah, this was just to update, so
Hey all! I'm not dead (yet) :D

Gosh this flu is weird, I keep seeing spoons and thinking they are forks D:
Also, here's a cool vid.

Lets sit here quietly

Okay! Girlfriend (I swear I giggle and blush every time I write/think that.. Even though it has been months!) and I are planning on making a cosplay video/video blog type thing... I'm seriously not sure what to call it, basically, we dress up as cool characters, act like cool idiots, film it, and put it on youtube for your entertainment :) anyway. We would L-O-V-E LOVE your help! What is needed from you is:
1) Would you watch us?
2) any pairings (male or female) you would like to see us do?
Either comment with your answers or email ME at:
lovelylesbian@live.com.au

I would love to hear from you <3

----
Aside from that, I'm pretty damn sick... I hear/think/speak the name Julia Gillard and puke. It would be funny if that were true! XD
But no, she sucks. In more ways than one..
I mean how the hell can someone be an atheist and against same sex marriage? It's beyond me! Clearly she thinks every woman should enjoy a big fat hairy c*ck and every man should enjoy... Oh god. I'm putting images in my head! Yuck!
There's also an iphone app that apple has ALLOWED to be released! It's called "Ex Gay" ...As you have probably figured out the title matches the app.
It has also been listed as "Not Offensive" What. The. Fuck?
Some "laws" Apple has...

I hate this. Why can't we just be equal?

Bats, Rally's and Derby's

Well today I was planning, and very very eager to go to the Harmony day festival. But when I went outside I found an injured fruit bat. It's not dying, thank God. But its wing is all torn up and you can see the bone on it's left leg ): It will be another hour until the RSPCA gets here. I'm hoping it will be able to hang onto the branch long enough. Because the area I live in has billions of cats I am sitting out here and keeping a close eye on the poor guy. He was afraid of me for a few minutes... Then decided I was boring and fell asleep. I've decided to name him Patrick. Or Pat for short. Here is a picture I took a minute ago.

He is rather adorable. He spent a good ten minutes or so copying whatever I did. I wish I could keep him... But because bats can have rabies I have to keep my distance ):

Anyway. Next weekend I will be at the equal love rally. Supporting, oh god, the wind picked up and something black fell, my heart stopped for a minute... But Patrick is okay!
Anyway, I'll be there, supporting the rights of the LGBTIQ community! Me and my sexy lesbian boots <3 They are brand new! I love them to bits and pieces.

And afterwards I'll be going to my first roller derby! I'm really really excited about that. I have no idea what it's going to be like. But I'll be there, cheering and waving around Bernie, my rainbow flag! :)

God I wish they would hurry up... I'm really quite worried about Pat.

T&S

Tegan: I think it’s really interesting. I’m not a religious person, but I feel fascinated by religion. I mean, it has overwhelmed so many people, and created so much hate and love at the same time…and there’s so much, I mean I think- 
Sara: So has Marijuana.


I'm having a bit of a Tegan and Sara moment today XD Enjoy! <3

Hairball!

NAWWWWWWWWWW~!
This is my kitten Kristy, she has been lying like that for over 4 hours now. I often wonder how cat's can just lay in the same position for hours on end, she looks so comfy! I'm jealous.

And this is my other kitty, Oliver. He has claimed my purple blanket as his own =_="
I really liked that purple blanket....

No offence.

Because I am in high school at the moment I probably hear this more commonly then people who have a full time job or whatever.. But then again, I may not. Who knows.

I'm here today to talk about "Jokes" that are anything but. They are creul, sexist, racist, homophobic and just not funny. And completely and utterly offensive.
I know you have heard them before, but I will list some anyway.

"That's so gay"
"You're so gay"
"That's so racist" ...I honestly don't understand how this one became a joke. But there are so many racist jokes still out there.
"Dyke"
"Fag"
That whole women belong in the kitchen one.

Okay, think about this for a while. Let them go through your head, think of situations where that would be said.

Q: Is this funny?
A: No.
Q: Is this okay?
A: No.

Seriously. It's fucking hurtful. So lay off and think before you speak.

And guess what? People are actually using the words "Dyke" and "Fag" to describe people. It's bullshit! How would you feel if you were on the receiving end of that?
It's bad enough that we don't get marriage rights, adoption rights and many more.
We don't need this torment.

Homophobia isn't just name calling.
Who you vote for affects us.
Too many people have been beaten for who they are. With very few people willing to rescue the person.
I hate to say it, and I know it's pretty much just the extremists. But the church also sides with homophobia
Lectivus 20:13
"And if a man lie with mankind, as with womankind, both of them have committed abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them."
Like I said, with the church the only people who tend to believe this are the people who follow the bible word for word. I do not mean to offend anyone.


I've been noticing homophobia often lately and it is affecting me once again.
I hate feeling like I'm in this constant battle just because I am who I am.
Sorry if this is confusing. I've got a killer headache.

Advertising again!

A couple of weeks ago I met an AMAZING person on DeviantART :) We talk heaps and it makes my day!
Anyway, that's not the point.
The point is, she is an amazing writer and you should all go stalk her blog! :D Trust me, you will love it.
http://gogglesandlace.wordpress.com/
She is a much better blog writer than I am ._.

OKAY MOVING ON~!

Today I went shopping~<3
I got The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. It's amazing and beautiful and I love it <3
I also got a new SUPER DUPER SMEXY BRA OF SEXYNESS!
Yeah.
And 3 new shirts :3 Because I'm cool like that.
---

But no! Wait, there is more!
I finished a Commission :) Here it is!

It's pretty good :) but I'm not too sure about the pointy chin syndrome.
I like how I did the shading! And the outfit too :)

I really should be doing work... I guess blogs just make me procrastinate more. Who knows.

Anywhoo, To all who live in Melbourne (or if you are stopping by)
There is a rally for Equal Marriage Rights!

Be there! :)

Anyway, I will end this random torment now
Goodbye~
<3

I don't like zombies

I never have... It's REALLY overdone. I mean, theres some zombie apocalypse, there is some dude being all "I know what I'm doing" there's some idiot that doesn't know what they are doing (usually blonde) there's some hot chick and some loyal friend...
Boring =\

Anyway.
I figured I should update to prove I'm not lazy! Haha!
The people in my art class are idiots ._. I don't blame the teacher for hating  them, I mean she tells them not to use their fingers and smudge the pencil and they all do the finger smudgy thing! Or she tells them that we are shading with pencil... And people bring out thick black markers! I mean, what the hell, are they all deaf or unable to understand simple english? It's bloody VCE Art! We aren't year sevens >_<

Anyway, I've made a bunch of new friends today :) we spent lunchtime in the yr 12 room watching lots and lots of anime!
And I braided B's hair :3 I made him look very pretty! If my tablet liked me I would draw a picture of it but i don't ._.

Anyway, Imma lazy.
Pizza for dinner! :D
Goodnight!

and another shitty ass mood!

Hey guys.
Turns out I'm spending my 17th birthday ALL FUCKING ALONE! Turns out I won't be spending the holidays with girlfriend at all. Though, I'm not blaming her for it, I know it's not her fault, maybe it's just the PMS but I'm getting seriously lonely.
I wish I was out of this house.
I wish I lived closer to girlfriend.
I just want everything to stop. I can't handle the world. I'm fucking miserable.

I don't want to feel so goddamn alone.

Applying for a job?

Well today I'm going to crawl kicking and screaming out of my comfort zone and apply for a job.

"Where?" you ask.
At subway! I get to be a sandwich artist! :D
Okay, I did choose the job mainly on the title... It's pretty awesome huh? And Subway does give slightly better pay than McDonalds (which is my last resort if I don't get this job)

I'm gonna hand it in later today... I need to find a good time to call one of my teachers and the person who took me for work experiance :)
Gosh, I'm so excited and nervous!
All you guys who read my blog wish me luck!


Anyway, on Wednesday I had horse studies all day! We had our lessons out in a place I had never heard of before! (not that I know many places in Melbourne) And naturally I got the train that had a problem with its breaks and missed the bus... The next bus came in an hour! D: I was so worried that I'd be incredibly late! But then a girl walked past me with boots and a riding helmet so I asked if she was going to the same place I was going, turns out she was! :D and we made good friends and got a lift to the center together and brought a frozen coke... Which she finished XD
And I can't remember her name ._. I'm such a bad friend.

Anyway, that day was an AWESOME day, only the day after I was sooooo sore from all the exercise! Maybe my new years resolution should have been to get fit.

I'm actually on top of my homework for once, which amazes me.

And what sort of idiot thinks it's alright to catch a baby bird, run around screaming with it, attract lots of attention so everyone wants to see the baby bird, and then thinks it's alright to take it home with them? I mean it wasn't much of a baby anyway, the pigeon was about 14cm tall! Almost an adult. It would have known how to survive. There are plenty of bushes for it to hide in, lots of food for it to eat, shelter. So pretty much its only risk was a flying ball! And then some giant idiotic thing decides to fuck up its life by running around and screaming with the already terrified bird, then taking it home and putting it behind bars? Does he think he has improved that pigeons life? That bird is 100% more likely to die now because of him. And I seriously want to scream at him for it. I hate him so much.

Kindergarten

People usually learn many things in kindergarten, like how to say your ABC's, count to 10, finger painting and knowing that cows go moo while listening to music that would make any grown human go crazy. But not me. No, I learnt that chickens are scary and dangerous creatures. They had one at the kindergarten I went too, I swear it had something against me because it would always chase me! And as the fraidycat child I was, I ran from it. Eventually I got a bit smarter than the hen, I didn't go outside, instead, I stayed inside playing with the toy farm animals. Because that was the safe thing to do.
I was a smart kid.

Anyway, lately life has been very very busy. Lot's of homework! (Damn you VCE) I'm still struggling to keep up with it all, but I think I'm doing pretty good so far :)

Yesterday I went to see Black Swan with M. I have to say I was disappointed, it was just another movie about a girl that hallucinates. Only this time with a weird mother and a ballet dancer! Yeah... Not too great.

My rooms actually spotless for once in its life! Pretty much because girlfriend convinced me that it needed cleaning before she came over >_> She can be awfully convincing she can!

I honestly don't know what else to say, so I will leave you with this:

Today will be my valentines day!

Yes. Lately all the stresses between me and girlfriend have died <3 So I'm officially classifying this as valentines day! :D And some day I'll get the rose plushie she got me <3 I can't wait til she comes down in april! Supanova and my birthday all in one go! :)

Anyway, here's a belated valentines comic

So yes :) to see more works from the artist go here :)

Uhm, today I spent the entire day in hospital, my feet are going inwards and they thing there is something up with my bones or something, I had x-rays and other shiz... There is a slight chance of surgery, but I won't know for sure until the 3rd of March! D: I'm scared. I hate surgery!

I also went to horse land for a helmet and riding boots :) I need them for my horse studies, but I also plan to get riding lessons, anyone know an affordable $50-$75 riding school that you can get to by public transport?
I also got a huge set of pencils! I'm going to try lots of different things with them :)

Anyway, aside from that, my day hasn't been awfully interesting.
Toodaloo!

Video of the day :)

I wish valentines day didn't suck so much.

Girlfriend knows how much I was looking forward to valentines day... She was in a shit mood and got all grumpy. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm crying about it. It was such a disappointment. It just hurts. Was it too much to ask for that one day to be good? I honestly thought I'd go to bed smiling for once.
I can't take everything anymore. I'm afraid I'll get so depressed that it will get much worse.
I have days where I don't want to be alive.

Idiot
Bitch
Selfish
Weird
Brat
Self absorbed
Stupid
Ugly
Loner

I feel like I'm hearing these on a daily basis.
Most of you who read this will know I'm depressed, most of you will think it's because of my ex. But no. That may have raised the stress anxiety and depression, but it wasn't what caused it.
To be honest, I blame the surgery I had in 2008. But even then I can't be sure, I had people pointing out everything that was wrong with me, like the hunch I used to have. So every day I would look in the mirror and see exactly what was wrong with me. That hurt. After the surgery I spent a lot of time alone, and personally, I don't deal with loneliness well, neither do I deal with people treating me like I don't exist. Which also happens frequently the frequent "Oh! Lizzy! I didn't know you were here!" called out by the teacher, it makes me feel invisible. I'm always nervous about everything, what people think, or say about me, I get stressed out, to the point where I can't sleep, I cry, have panic attacks, but I don't sleep. It's taking it's toll on my grades, on the people around me.... And I feel like a horrible person when I try to talk to my girlfriend about it.

I just want to go back to a couple of years ago. When everything was perfect. When people would tell me what's going on instead of closing me out of their lives. Because that is what hurts the most.

Sorry for the rant. It needed to get out of my system.

An amazing song and video. It actually cheers me up a bit.

Pride and Homophobia

Alright, I didn't talk about this before because I forgot, but last weekend I went to the Melbourne LGBTI Pride March :) I can not explain how amazing it was. I made a bunch of new friends, ran into old ones, met ones I had met through Minus18. They kept this very lively atmosphere! It was amazing, and I have never in my life felt so instantly welcomed amongst a group of strangers and almost strangers. I guess that kinda made my day.

At first me, D and C got completely lost on our way to Pride, and ended up stalking a group of people that appeared to be going to the pride march... Then after it was apparent that they were lost too, I was told to talk to them because apparently I have a ''cute voice'' ....Yeah right. Anyway we made friends with them (and I'm kinda hoping I run into them at the rally because I couldn't remember there names D:)

Anyway, I saw heaps of cool stuff, like brides on stilts, the drag queens I just LOVE! <3 "Dykes on Bikes" which was really cool! Girlfriend has her learners for her orange moped. It looks like an alien :3 I shall call it the little orange alien from now on!

Anyway we marched all the way down the a festival with everyone standing at the sides and cheering us! There was only ONE protester! And you couldn't even hear him over the cheering :)

And I got a rainbow flag! It now hangs proudly in my room, next I'll get the rainbow wallet :3

Of course I was taken down a bit when later on in the week I heard these two guys on the bus spouting a sh*t load of homophobic bullsh*t, it's probably the worst I've ever heard! It made me want to cry. I also wondered if the guy they were talking about wanted to kill himself or was major depressed =\ because if they talked about it like that, I wondered how they would act around him. It seriously makes me sad when I see two kids around the age of 15 acting with such a closed minded homophobic attitude. I seriously hope I never have to hear anything like that again. So what did I do about it? First I txt'd girlfriend saying "Two homophobic PR*CKS sitting behind me" and flashed it around so they could obviously see it. Then I turned around and said "People have killed themselves because of people like you. Would you f*cking listen to yourselves? Shut up." :) I then got into a long and heated argument with them, and then as they got up to get off the bus one tried to spit on me, which I saw coming and defended myself with my diary.
I don't regret doing what I did. And I'd do it a thousand times over, no one deserves to be treated like sh*t, and no one deserves to hear that sh*t coming out of someones mouth.

Anyway, on a positive note, GIRLFRIEND IS PLANNING TO COME DOWN TO MELBOURNE FOR THE HOLIDAYS! :D Gosh, I'm so excited <3
I get to call her and have a lovey conversation with her on Valentines Day after all <3 soon will come a day when I can cuddle her on Valentines Day too!

Ack! Music theory

So I've only just started my music class, and I already how I'm failing. So I am putting all my effort into studying from various sites that people have recommended, I'm so lost it can't even be considered funny... Yet people still laugh at me. It's rather intimidating, because all these people in my class are AWESOME at music theory... just bad at explaining it to me. I'm going to seriously have to start getting better with this, I want my teacher to stop looking at me with that hopeless case look she gives me! I'm a singer! We don't learn as much theory! D:

I'm going to be learning guitar again in a couple of weeks time :) My friend B has promised that he would teach me if I pay him $10 each lesson! Maybe I could be one of those awesome singing and guitar playing people you see on youtube... It's not as easy as it looks. Trust me. I have tried it.
Check out this awesome and pretty youtube singer!

Seriously, who can call themselves a performer if they haven't performed Iris? :) It's an amazingly beautiful song! And you have to admit, she's pretty damn amazing herself!

Anyway, I'm trying to figure out what songs I should learn in my singing classes, so far my ideas are:

Daughters – John Mayer

Behind Blue Eyes – The Who

Like a star - Coinne Bailey Rae

The Pot - Tool

Any suggestions are more than welcome!

And for now, farewell!

Homophobia... Why?

Okay, I want to start off with talking about why I chose this name for my blog, Lovely Lesbian, it's not because I'm full of myself and calling myself lovely, it's more of a statement. Just because someone is from the LGBTI (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender & Intersex) community does NOT make them evil, and the fact that a lot of people think that they deserved to get bullied and HARNESSED to the point where they are either miserable or suicidal, well, it's not right. It hurts. And I can tell you, no one I know who is lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or intersex, they are all lovely, and NONE of them deserve to get treated the way they do.

It's hard enough to come out as it is.

My Story


I grew up without actually knowing what gay and lesbian or even straight meant, and because people talked about it like a bad thing, I thought it was a bad thing, without even knowing that it was just love.
In a way, I guess I always knew I liked women, I liked the way they moved, I liked their figure, the way the talked and smiled, how they acted, and their emotions. Though it took until Year 8 for me to actually figure it out. It took me another year for me to come out to my friends, two years to come out to my close family, three to come out to my outer family. It was a hard thing to do, probably because I have an overactive imagination and constantly predict the worse case situation. But when I did come out to them, it was literally like a weight off my chest. I'm not sure how my family feels about it, but I'm going to take their silence as acceptance.
When I came out to my friends, a lot of them thought it meant that I was interested in them, some realized that I wasn't on their own, others I had to tell. Either way, the ones that accepted it are still my friends now, the ones that didn't, well, I let them leave. I don't need negativity in my life. No one does.

I have been out for almost three years now, and what do I have to show for it?

• A girlfriend I love so much.
• Accepting and helpful friends, who are fun to be around.
• A healthier life, I no longer feel like I have to lie about who I am.
• New friends, who come with me to Melbourne's LGBTI supporting events.
• A smile on my face.
• A passion to help others.

Homophobia causes so much pain and suffering, and unfortunately is indirectly supported by the Government. The lack of equal rights for the LGBTI community is recognized and encourages the hate to spread, a lot of the churches also support this hate. This needs to stop. Remember, you are not alone. Life gets better, so much better. Just keep reaching for the stars, and one day you will get somewhere, you will do something great. Once you grab that star, hold on tight and never let go.

If you need support, or have an issue you want me to write about in my blog please write to me at:

LovelyLesbian@live.com.au

I really hope this helped someone.

David Bowie

David Bowie had the poofy Scene hairstyle before 'Scene' existed! And his outfit would be super stylish in todays day and age :) tight pants, tucked in loose clothes are all the rage now after all (it's scary because its true!)

Anyway, I love David Bowie, he is amazing :) Especially in The Labyrinth! <3 The Goblin King!
I got the Labyrinth album when I was in Sydney last, it's still a big favorite of mine! <3
And if you don't like Bowie... Shame on you!

Anyway, we had a major storm in Melbourne thanks to the Cyclone that hit Queensland a couple of nights ago. It was a terrifying storm, thunder and lightning... EVERYTHING! Anyway, you can imagine my surprise when I went outside to see my entire street flooded!
Here are some photos taken by others:

So yeah, that was a major shock. Apparently there is more to come, take a look at this:

So yeah. Safe to say I'm freaked out!

But Bowie will calm me :)

You remind me of the babe
(What babe?)
Babe with the power
(What power?)
Power of Voodoo
(Who do?)
You do
(Do what?)
Remind me of the babe

I saw my baby, crying hard as babe could cry
What could I do?
My baby's love had gone
And left my baby blue
Nobody knew

What kind of magic spell to use
Slime and snails
Or puppy dog tails
Thunder or lightning
Then baby said......
Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Put that baby spell on me
Jump magic, jump (jump magic, jump)
Jump magic, jump (jump magic, jump)
Put that magic jump on me
Slap that baby, make him free

I saw my baby, trying hard as babe could try
What could I do?
My baby's fun had gone
And left my baby blue
Nobody knew

What kind of magic spell to use
Slime and snails
Puppy dog's tails
Thunder or lightning
Then baby said....

Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Put that baby spell on me

Jump magic, jump (jump magic, jump)
Jump magic, jump (jump magic, jump)
Put that magic jump on me
Slap that baby, make him free

Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Jump magic, jump (jump magic, jump)
Jump magic, jump (jump magic, jump)
Put that baby spell on me (ooh)

You remind me of the babe
(What babe?)
The babe with the power
(What power?)
Power of Voodoo
(Who do?)
You do
(Do what?)
Remind me of the babe

Dance magic, dance, ooh ooh ooh
Dance magic, dance magic, ooh ooh ooh
Dance magic

What kind of magic spell to use
Slime and snails
Or puppy dog tails
Thunder or lightning
Something frightening

Dance magic, dance
Dance magic, dance
Put that baby spell on me

Jump magic, jump
Jump magic, jump
Put that magic jump on me
Slap that baby make him free

Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Jump magic, jump (jump magic, jump)
Jump magic, jump
Put that magic jump on me
Slap that baby

Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Dance magic
Slap that baby make him free
Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)

Gawsh.

My internet was down again!! D: This time for four days! I have never missed my laptop so much.

Anyway, I did my English homework (in half an hour...possibly a bit rushed XD)  and then discovered that I had an extra weekend to do it all -_-" Why, God, why do you hate me so?

Anyway, it was my first day of school today, mum gave me some herbal tablet to help me cope with anxiety (which has been a major issue at the moment) the result was it made me sleepy ALL day! Thank heavens I only had one class... That the teacher never asked me questions on! I now have to learn the key signatures DX I have no idea how to do that!! And two scales before the next class. baaahhhhh!

Saw my ex for the first time since I broke up with him... It was weird. He kept finding reasons to come up to me. Which was annoying as all hell, considering I didn't want to see him, thank god he didn't talk to me though! Apparently he regrets what he has done... I don't really give a sh*t though. I can't forgive him for being the reason why my girlfriend stressed out to (what sounded like) tears! F*ck I am so upset about that. he added her on a fake account "Spicyrice pot" or something like that -_- I pretty much sent him a message saying:

"Dude, I know who you are, why the F*CK did you add my girlfriend?"

I think he may have gotten the picture :3 So that's that problem solved. No more stress from that! yay!

I wish I could be a cat some days... No worries in the world :) utter peace.

I want a hermit crab.

Yes. I want a hermit crab. I used to own them when I was younger, but eventually I gave up. Now I want them again :) because they are so cute! I also want a betta...But something tells me that I'll have to choose one or the other. Damn.

Anyway, my day so far seems to be fairly uneventful. Made lunch... Which turned out tasting like sh*t, just so you know :) I'm usually a MUCH better cook... but mum was all "Use the mushrooms" and we didn't have anything that goes well with mushrooms... So it well...Came out bad DX

Bah. Have you ever had someone constantly turn you down for events? Sometimes it can be totally reasonable and you can understand that they may really have to do their homework or whatever. But when you are constantly turned down for things with the same excuse all the time

"I have a heap of homework"

"I have no money"

"I'm hanging out with other friends"

The list is pretty much endless. And it hurts, and may as well fall under the same category as my last blog. But yeah, I sit here and wonder if it is even worth the effort asking these people to hang out with me. I mean, it's pretty obvious they aren't interested, right? But I still persist, and I feel like some annoying pest afterwards.

If I get told no for the same reasons once again, I think I may just tell them what's going through my brain. Because I should not have to put up with this cr*p. No one should.

Hello world. Shoot me please.

Urgh. Once again I am using this blog to vent frequent daily frustrations in hope that it eases my mind... If only a little.

Have you ever had a conversation with someone that goes something like this?

You: Hey! How are you? :)
Person: Good. u?
You: Good! What have you been up to?
Person: nm u?
You: well I did this this and this, do you wanna hang out later?
Person: k.
...And the conversation tends to go downhill from there, you are all active in the conversation and the other person is responding either with one word answers, not at all, or replying with stuff that seems emotionless. And don't give me that "There are no emotions in words" bullsh*t. There are emotions in books after all!
When I get conversations like that from someone I care about/talk to frequently I worry that I have done something wrong, or they are just randomly pissed off at me. They may not me, but that is the feeling I get, and so I stress out.

Conversations like that have been happening a lot to me lately, from multiple people. I dunno, it may be because of the hormones from the pill, that I have been really stressed out lately... But it's really starting to get to me. I guess I'm just feeling rather alone at the moment.

Sorry for the depressing blog entry.

Burlesque

Well, yesterday I went and saw Burlesque! It is an AWESOME movie. I probably just say that because I love the style and the music, it had an awesome Cabaret feel to it, it also seemed kinda like Coyote Ugly, which is another movie I love!
Yeah, I'm pretty much a sucker for corsets and music :)

I also got the first season of Spice & Wolf on dvd :) I have to say though, the Japanese version sounds a lot better... But that's probably because I originally watched it in Japanese. I watched it when the episodes came out once a month! :D so when I watch it now it seems to go a lot faster than what I remember it to be XD

Spice & Wolf is pretty much about a wolf god named Holo and a merchant called Kraft Lawrence travelling together, Holo comes along because Lawrence promised her that he would take her to the north. It's set in what seems a lot like Europe in the Middle Ages, a large amount of people are following the church, and fewer are following the Pagan Gods. So if Holo is found she will pretty much be exorcised to "get the devil out of her"
It's a funny and interesting story, it's fairly different too, so if you are interested in anime and manga, I'd suggest having a look at it :)

So yeah, my internet was down AGAIN today. That was terribly annoying >_< so I didn't get to post anything. I feel like drawing women in corsets at the moment, so I might give that a shot :)

Oh! Also, I got new books for school, along with highlighters and pens... And a new 2B mechanical pencil! :D yay!

I'm also watching the second season of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya season 2 :)
For those who don't know about that series, it's fairly hard to explain without giving away the entire plot, but I'll do the best I can:
It's based around an average guy called Kyon, there is nothing really special about him, he doesn't believe in anything, upon entering North High he meets Haruhi Suzumiya, who introduces herself as not being interested in normal human beings, which, naturally picks her out as being the weird one. A few days later Kyon starts talking to her and eventually they become something like friends. Haruhi is having trouble picking a club to join, so Kyon suggests that she make her own club... And thus the SOS brigade is born! :D
It's pretty funny and really good, check it out! :)

SUNBURN. Again.

Fuuuuu! Feck feck feck feck!

I got sunburnt again >_< I need to start learning the meaning of sunscreen. Unfortunately, I forget all the time. And so, my shoulders are burnt! Once again!! Gah! I am going to have such a patchy tan these holidays!!

Anyway, for the past 2 1/2 days I have been at S's house :) Which involved a marathon of watching Being Human! :D for those who don't know what it is here is the storyline:

It's the story of a Vampire (Mitchell), Werewolf (George) and a ghost (Annie) living in the one house and there is this guy building this vampire army and They are all like "Won't you join us? :)" to Mitchell, and Mitchell is all "No! Imma clean vampire now!" and George is all "I dun wanna be a werewolf" and then he is all "ze wolfie is a part of me" and yeah, he isn't very interesting and wears funny glasses.

Well, at least thats what I think o_o. And Annie is trying to find a way to "go to the light" so to speak :) But in this case its a door, and then she is all "Noooooo I dun wanna go into the door! D:"

Annie is also very very pretty :)
See?

That's a piccie of her and Mitchell (: Mah two fave characters!

We watched almost all of the two seasons that they have so far made :) yeah. It's pretty awesome.
...Oh yeah, and they are all trying to be human, if you didn't get that :)

Anyway. At night S stole the blanket heaps D: But I found out that if you kick her (gently) in the shin she releases a bit of blanket :3 yay! And on the way home she drove me... I wanted to wear a helmet, but unfortunately there was no helmet avaliable. Damn.

Anyway, all in all it was a good 3 days. I got to talk to my AMAZINGLY AWESOME GIRLFRIEND That I love very very much  on the phone again! And I sent her an awesome prezzie :3
And it got to spend 2 1/2 days with the awesome S :)

The Coin Knows All

So a couple of days ago I pretty much had a mental breakdown (as those who read my blog would know) anyway, I ran off to my friend M's house and stayed there for a while. It's really good being with her, we can talk about ANYTHING with each other. Even stuff I don't feel comfortable talking to my girlfriend about (If you are reading this D, yes, me and B are in a relationship! :D Pretend to not know anything as we planned to tell you together) Anyhoo, so we talked heaps, and I got several worries that were bothering me to the point of insanity off my chest :)

We also watched Black Butler or Kuroshitsuji as you all like to call it. I LOVED the first season and now understand all the yaoi fanart...Though I have to admit, the second season SUCKED BIG TIME! First of all theres that blonde kid and that random butler... Which just CREEPED ME OUT. Man there was some creepy sh*t happening there. That kid was major sadistic! That and Ciel and Sebastian's relationship took one hell of a turn for the worst. Bah! I should have never let myself watch that evil second season.

Now, After watching the evil second season of Kuroshitsuji M and myself went upstairs and started asking questions to her lucky coin... It was all fun and games until it got creepy, it started answering EVERY SINGLE QUESTION correctly. Which was rather f*cked up =\ ANYWAY we started asking questions about God and life and all that stuff, I'm not sure if it was our attitude or whatever. But it was pretty freaky. Here is what the coin told us:

God does exist. God has no sex. God is a supreme being. Christianity is worshiping the right God. There is no such thing as hate, love or truth. Divine Beauty does not exist. God and the Devil are the same. there is such a thing as hell.

And on a funnier note!:

I am God and the Devil, I am just too young to receive the title just yet. I will become a journalist... Though I will not be rich, nor famous (pfft.) 

In other words. The coin is a lie.

Oh! And I got my hair cut short :) Its the anime tomboy/feminine guy hairstyle! I think it suits me heaps :D

If any of you live in Melbourne and want your hair cut short check out Colour Your Soul. It's pretty awesome. Expensive. But she is the only hairdresser I know that willingly chops my hair off and does a really good job of it :)

thoughts 1

You know, I've been feeling like I am maturing mentally a lot now. I'm starting to handle things better on my own. All these changes I'll admit scare me more than a little, I also feel like I'm becoming boring... Though that may be because I haven't gone out much and as such don't really have anything interesting to talk about. I think I am growing up like this so quickly because in the past month I have needed it, I've faced someone horrible and for the first time in a long time haven't let myself believe I am the one who should be apologizing, I've had to provide for my brother and me (having the house to yourself is awesome.) I've had to re bury Kimba and Marvin, I've been doing the best I can to help at least 10 different friends sort out their problems, I've made my room look like some sort of office... Which is kinda creepy. I guess I have just become mentally stronger and better able to deal with things on my own... I guess like I was before I got all fucked up in the head. The thought kind of makes me happy. Hopefully I'm not too mature though! I still have at least 2 years left of childhood. Haha!

...So I guess this is a bit of a journey? I can't wait to see what becomes of it.

Still need a job. Thinking of applying at Grill'd.

Oh God.

I have just seen something I have never ever wanted to see.

I had two cats in the past, who as they do, died. They weren't at a vet when they died so we didn't get them cremated or anything like that, we buried them in the backyard with a small plum tree on top of it.

Now as you would probably know, there has been a lot of rain in Melbourne lately, a lot of heavy rain. And as you would know, rain washes soil away. I hadn't realized how much soil, until I went out and saw some of my cat Kimba's bones sticking out from the ground.

I don't know how to deal with this.

OMFG AN UPDATE

1st. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW ALICE?!

Well... My room is almost clean, the walls are being covered with random crap... And yeah...

My brain has been very much weird today. One minute I think too much, the next minute I'm stupid then the next I'm talking about twilight. It must be the pills. 

But yeah, I don't have much to say, I've got some serious artists block going on! I look at the pencil and sketchpad and my hands feel so weak! D: It's a bit of a worry. 

Also.

Avenue Q is awesome!!!

I should probably take something to fix my brain today... It doesn't seem to be working at all! D:

...

...

Oh! And I'm all better :)

Yay!

Uh... Yeah, that is all!

~LovelyLesbian

Doctors Tomorrow!

Yeah, that's right, I have been sick for the past 2 weeks!!! D: dun dun duuuunnnn. But my father has finally decided to take me to the doctor! :D yay!

In primary school (elementary for you Americans) we learnt about types of friends

There are two types! Here they are :

Fair Weather Friends: The title pretty much describes itself, they are there when they want to be there, if something goes wrong, they will NEVER show up. These are the friends you don't want... Unfortunately, they are also the most common.

True Friends: The hardest friends to find, they are the friends who will stick by your side no matter what! And You have to hold on tight to them, because they are worth keeping :)

Now, why am I talking about this? Because a few friends along with myself have been discovering how bad fair weather friends can make you feel, they don't want to hang out with you and they are only around when they want to be around, which pretty much leaves you at home, alone and miserable. IT SUCKS big time.

The way I overcame it was to tell these people how I felt about the way they treated me. It may not always turn out the way you plan it... But it works.

Anyway, I went to Midsumma yesterday :) it was heaps of fun!

I got two badges, which had these on them:

Annnd I got a shirt, like this one except grey :)

So yeah, that was pretty awesome :D

And I think I was pretty popular with the ladies ;) haha.

So yeah, that's enough from me, cya!

OH MY...! I'm lazy

Well, I have not been outside in the past 9 days because I've been sick ON THE STUPID HOLIDAYS!!!!

Anyway, I'm sure everyone has heard about the flash floods in Queensland. All I can say is that my heart goes out to everyone involved, everyone who is dead or missing and everyone who knows someone who is dead or missing. You have my love. <3

Lately I've been doing artwork for people, because I aim to draw every day to help improve my art  :) it's a plan that I hope will work! :D if you wanna view my art you can go here:

sleeping-fairie.deviantart.com

I'm slowly but surely getting healthier... I just feel like a bit of a loner while I'm sick DX

I have officially become a vampire (without the glitter and blood sucking) I stay up till dawn, then sleep till night. haha! The teenage mind during holidays. If they had high school take place during night people would probably do better in school... Us teenagers aren't day people after all :)

No Internet Makes Me Cranky.

So this is my 6th day of being sick... All I can think of is "Why does someone out there hate me!?" if it was during school I probably wouldn't complain so much... But these are the holidays!!! D: I'll have no holiday at this rate.

So yesterday I had no internet... Don't know why, I guess my laptop just hates me =\ So after sleeping for half the day, I decided to do my English homework (dun dun duun!) Anyway, for English I pretty much need to find articles related to 'Identity and Belonging' and stick them in some sort of folio or something like that... I also need to write a story about a catastrophe and have identity and belonging somewhere in that... I also need to read this book called 'Year of Wonders' by Geraldine Brooks... Normally that would be easy for me, but the book jumps from one time period to another, which confuses the hell out of me and makes it very VERY hard for me to follow the actual story >_< Which I'm sure would be good. If I could understand it. So yeah, thats pretty much my one complaint about homework over and done with.

You know how as kids we are told the story of 'Jack and the Beanstalk'? About how a kid sells a cow for magic beans that turn into a massive vine in the sky with a giant in it. Well as a kid I believed that 'God' was a giant that lived in the clouds... See the connection?

Fe Fi Fo Fum! I smell the blood of an Englishman!

Sick Diets Suck. I Want Watermelon

Well today I joined Minus18, which is a great group for the LGBTI community, sometimes it helps to have friends that know what you're going through and all. Unfortunately it's only in Melbourne (personally I think they should be everywhere) There are places all over Australia... Though I know Sydney's only organization (Twenty-ten) is coming off as a fairly exclusive thing... You know, the whole "If you aren't part of the group, get out!" sorta thing, which is sad ):

The good news is that I am on a strict diet of blueberries, chamomile and peppermint tea, white rice, mashed potatoes without butter or milk, plain toast and good ol' bananas... I'm gonna die DX

There's also Joy 94.9 which is a gay and lesbian radio station  in Melbourne, so if I have any Melbourne readers, give it a listen, the music isn't always good, but the talking is funny and often reassuring. It makes me not want to kill everyone XD so in other words it lifts my mood! You can also listen to it online, so it's not really limited to us Melbourne folk.

Also, so I sound more like an advertisement, I just found out about the Midsumma festival, It's on the 16th of Jan 11am-6pm  I'll be there, and hope you will be there too! :D

Huzzah!

I HAVE FINALLY FINISHED 3/4 OF MY HOMEWORK! All I have left now is English... Which has A LOT of stuff to do... And I'm very lazy... So Naturally I'm in denial.

I think I also have 2 things I need to do for art... But I can't remember that :3

Anyway, day 2 of babysitting my monstrous little brother and I wake up at 5am vomiting and sh*tting... Not a good look for me. I guess I really am full of sh*t! I also have a temp of 38.7... Fun fun fun. Someone kill me now.

So, uh yeah... That's pretty much it for today. Toodaloo!

Misery Rants. Fun.

F*ck it sucks being single. I'm just not used to being this lonely. It just sucks big time. It really does. I just want some girl just to hold close to me, so that I know I'm not alone, so I can know I'm loved, even if it's for reasons that aren't so great. But I know I can't. I'd feel so unbelievably guilty because I couldn't love them back because for about 7 years now someone very special to me has had my heart, I'm just not to sure if she knows it. I love her. And if you don't like it, you can go $&%$$%*$%*&$#&%#& $&$#&%$#$#*$#* $$%$%# yourself :)

I've got so much time on my hands it's not funny. But I'm not in the right mood to apply for a job... Because they want you to be all happy and not shockingly miserable and looking anorexic right? I'm too deep down in the dumps to even want to get out of bed, I just need to find something to occupy myself. I really, really need something to occupy me. Anything.

It feels hard to trust anybody or anything at the moment. I feel like I'm suffering betrayal after betrayal after betrayal. I could pretty much say that my spirit has been broken.

I heard about "Corrective Rape" in South Africa through a causes email last night. It seriously disgusts me. I'll need to do a bit more research into it, but they are pretty much saying its a "cure" for same sex orientated people, and you know what? The Government completely ignores it, and the protesters. I haven't been this horrified in a very long long time. Why does it always feel like everything needs to change? I just wish everything could be perfect. Even just for a moment.

Well, sorry about the rant, I needed it out of my system.

Thanks for putting up with me <3

My Mouth Tastes Like Fish.

It really does.
It's so weird.
I don't think I have eaten fish lately
Have I?
I don't think so...

Like my picture? Yeah.. Tablet is pretty much dead DX

I've decided to play around with the blog editing stuff, I'm have a bit of fun XD

In truth I have nothing much to say, except an amazing friend and sister like person has a blog, check it out! 

http://achluomania.blogspot.com

It feels pointless saying this because she is the only person following my blog, ah well.

Taking mother to the airport!

Goodnight!