F*ck it sucks being single. I'm just not used to being this lonely. It just sucks big time. It really does. I just want some girl just to hold close to me, so that I know I'm not alone, so I can know I'm loved, even if it's for reasons that aren't so great. But I know I can't. I'd feel so unbelievably guilty because I couldn't love them back because for about 7 years now someone very special to me has had my heart, I'm just not to sure if she knows it. I love her. And if you don't like it, you can go $&%$$%*$%*&$#&%#& $&$#&%$#$#*$#* $$%$%# yourself :)
I've got so much time on my hands it's not funny. But I'm not in the right mood to apply for a job... Because they want you to be all happy and not shockingly miserable and looking anorexic right? I'm too deep down in the dumps to even want to get out of bed, I just need to find something to occupy myself. I really, really need something to occupy me. Anything.
It feels hard to trust anybody or anything at the moment. I feel like I'm suffering betrayal after betrayal after betrayal. I could pretty much say that my spirit has been broken.
I heard about "Corrective Rape" in South Africa through a causes email last night. It seriously disgusts me. I'll need to do a bit more research into it, but they are pretty much saying its a "cure" for same sex orientated people, and you know what? The Government completely ignores it, and the protesters. I haven't been this horrified in a very long long time. Why does it always feel like everything needs to change? I just wish everything could be perfect. Even just for a moment.
Well, sorry about the rant, I needed it out of my system.
Thanks for putting up with me <3
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