I want a hermit crab.

Yes. I want a hermit crab. I used to own them when I was younger, but eventually I gave up. Now I want them again :) because they are so cute! I also want a betta...But something tells me that I'll have to choose one or the other. Damn.

Anyway, my day so far seems to be fairly uneventful. Made lunch... Which turned out tasting like sh*t, just so you know :) I'm usually a MUCH better cook... but mum was all "Use the mushrooms" and we didn't have anything that goes well with mushrooms... So it well...Came out bad DX

Bah. Have you ever had someone constantly turn you down for events? Sometimes it can be totally reasonable and you can understand that they may really have to do their homework or whatever. But when you are constantly turned down for things with the same excuse all the time

"I have a heap of homework"

"I have no money"

"I'm hanging out with other friends"

The list is pretty much endless. And it hurts, and may as well fall under the same category as my last blog. But yeah, I sit here and wonder if it is even worth the effort asking these people to hang out with me. I mean, it's pretty obvious they aren't interested, right? But I still persist, and I feel like some annoying pest afterwards.

If I get told no for the same reasons once again, I think I may just tell them what's going through my brain. Because I should not have to put up with this cr*p. No one should.

Hello world. Shoot me please.

Urgh. Once again I am using this blog to vent frequent daily frustrations in hope that it eases my mind... If only a little.

Have you ever had a conversation with someone that goes something like this?

You: Hey! How are you? :)
Person: Good. u?
You: Good! What have you been up to?
Person: nm u?
You: well I did this this and this, do you wanna hang out later?
Person: k.
...And the conversation tends to go downhill from there, you are all active in the conversation and the other person is responding either with one word answers, not at all, or replying with stuff that seems emotionless. And don't give me that "There are no emotions in words" bullsh*t. There are emotions in books after all!
When I get conversations like that from someone I care about/talk to frequently I worry that I have done something wrong, or they are just randomly pissed off at me. They may not me, but that is the feeling I get, and so I stress out.

Conversations like that have been happening a lot to me lately, from multiple people. I dunno, it may be because of the hormones from the pill, that I have been really stressed out lately... But it's really starting to get to me. I guess I'm just feeling rather alone at the moment.

Sorry for the depressing blog entry.

Burlesque

Well, yesterday I went and saw Burlesque! It is an AWESOME movie. I probably just say that because I love the style and the music, it had an awesome Cabaret feel to it, it also seemed kinda like Coyote Ugly, which is another movie I love!
Yeah, I'm pretty much a sucker for corsets and music :)

I also got the first season of Spice & Wolf on dvd :) I have to say though, the Japanese version sounds a lot better... But that's probably because I originally watched it in Japanese. I watched it when the episodes came out once a month! :D so when I watch it now it seems to go a lot faster than what I remember it to be XD

Spice & Wolf is pretty much about a wolf god named Holo and a merchant called Kraft Lawrence travelling together, Holo comes along because Lawrence promised her that he would take her to the north. It's set in what seems a lot like Europe in the Middle Ages, a large amount of people are following the church, and fewer are following the Pagan Gods. So if Holo is found she will pretty much be exorcised to "get the devil out of her"
It's a funny and interesting story, it's fairly different too, so if you are interested in anime and manga, I'd suggest having a look at it :)

So yeah, my internet was down AGAIN today. That was terribly annoying >_< so I didn't get to post anything. I feel like drawing women in corsets at the moment, so I might give that a shot :)

Oh! Also, I got new books for school, along with highlighters and pens... And a new 2B mechanical pencil! :D yay!

I'm also watching the second season of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya season 2 :)
For those who don't know about that series, it's fairly hard to explain without giving away the entire plot, but I'll do the best I can:
It's based around an average guy called Kyon, there is nothing really special about him, he doesn't believe in anything, upon entering North High he meets Haruhi Suzumiya, who introduces herself as not being interested in normal human beings, which, naturally picks her out as being the weird one. A few days later Kyon starts talking to her and eventually they become something like friends. Haruhi is having trouble picking a club to join, so Kyon suggests that she make her own club... And thus the SOS brigade is born! :D
It's pretty funny and really good, check it out! :)

SUNBURN. Again.

Fuuuuu! Feck feck feck feck!

I got sunburnt again >_< I need to start learning the meaning of sunscreen. Unfortunately, I forget all the time. And so, my shoulders are burnt! Once again!! Gah! I am going to have such a patchy tan these holidays!!

Anyway, for the past 2 1/2 days I have been at S's house :) Which involved a marathon of watching Being Human! :D for those who don't know what it is here is the storyline:

It's the story of a Vampire (Mitchell), Werewolf (George) and a ghost (Annie) living in the one house and there is this guy building this vampire army and They are all like "Won't you join us? :)" to Mitchell, and Mitchell is all "No! Imma clean vampire now!" and George is all "I dun wanna be a werewolf" and then he is all "ze wolfie is a part of me" and yeah, he isn't very interesting and wears funny glasses.

Well, at least thats what I think o_o. And Annie is trying to find a way to "go to the light" so to speak :) But in this case its a door, and then she is all "Noooooo I dun wanna go into the door! D:"

Annie is also very very pretty :)
See?

That's a piccie of her and Mitchell (: Mah two fave characters!

We watched almost all of the two seasons that they have so far made :) yeah. It's pretty awesome.
...Oh yeah, and they are all trying to be human, if you didn't get that :)

Anyway. At night S stole the blanket heaps D: But I found out that if you kick her (gently) in the shin she releases a bit of blanket :3 yay! And on the way home she drove me... I wanted to wear a helmet, but unfortunately there was no helmet avaliable. Damn.

Anyway, all in all it was a good 3 days. I got to talk to my AMAZINGLY AWESOME GIRLFRIEND That I love very very much  on the phone again! And I sent her an awesome prezzie :3
And it got to spend 2 1/2 days with the awesome S :)

The Coin Knows All

So a couple of days ago I pretty much had a mental breakdown (as those who read my blog would know) anyway, I ran off to my friend M's house and stayed there for a while. It's really good being with her, we can talk about ANYTHING with each other. Even stuff I don't feel comfortable talking to my girlfriend about (If you are reading this D, yes, me and B are in a relationship! :D Pretend to not know anything as we planned to tell you together) Anyhoo, so we talked heaps, and I got several worries that were bothering me to the point of insanity off my chest :)

We also watched Black Butler or Kuroshitsuji as you all like to call it. I LOVED the first season and now understand all the yaoi fanart...Though I have to admit, the second season SUCKED BIG TIME! First of all theres that blonde kid and that random butler... Which just CREEPED ME OUT. Man there was some creepy sh*t happening there. That kid was major sadistic! That and Ciel and Sebastian's relationship took one hell of a turn for the worst. Bah! I should have never let myself watch that evil second season.

Now, After watching the evil second season of Kuroshitsuji M and myself went upstairs and started asking questions to her lucky coin... It was all fun and games until it got creepy, it started answering EVERY SINGLE QUESTION correctly. Which was rather f*cked up =\ ANYWAY we started asking questions about God and life and all that stuff, I'm not sure if it was our attitude or whatever. But it was pretty freaky. Here is what the coin told us:

God does exist. God has no sex. God is a supreme being. Christianity is worshiping the right God. There is no such thing as hate, love or truth. Divine Beauty does not exist. God and the Devil are the same. there is such a thing as hell.

And on a funnier note!:

I am God and the Devil, I am just too young to receive the title just yet. I will become a journalist... Though I will not be rich, nor famous (pfft.) 

In other words. The coin is a lie.

Oh! And I got my hair cut short :) Its the anime tomboy/feminine guy hairstyle! I think it suits me heaps :D

If any of you live in Melbourne and want your hair cut short check out Colour Your Soul. It's pretty awesome. Expensive. But she is the only hairdresser I know that willingly chops my hair off and does a really good job of it :)

thoughts 1

You know, I've been feeling like I am maturing mentally a lot now. I'm starting to handle things better on my own. All these changes I'll admit scare me more than a little, I also feel like I'm becoming boring... Though that may be because I haven't gone out much and as such don't really have anything interesting to talk about. I think I am growing up like this so quickly because in the past month I have needed it, I've faced someone horrible and for the first time in a long time haven't let myself believe I am the one who should be apologizing, I've had to provide for my brother and me (having the house to yourself is awesome.) I've had to re bury Kimba and Marvin, I've been doing the best I can to help at least 10 different friends sort out their problems, I've made my room look like some sort of office... Which is kinda creepy. I guess I have just become mentally stronger and better able to deal with things on my own... I guess like I was before I got all fucked up in the head. The thought kind of makes me happy. Hopefully I'm not too mature though! I still have at least 2 years left of childhood. Haha!

...So I guess this is a bit of a journey? I can't wait to see what becomes of it.

Still need a job. Thinking of applying at Grill'd.

Oh God.

I have just seen something I have never ever wanted to see.

I had two cats in the past, who as they do, died. They weren't at a vet when they died so we didn't get them cremated or anything like that, we buried them in the backyard with a small plum tree on top of it.

Now as you would probably know, there has been a lot of rain in Melbourne lately, a lot of heavy rain. And as you would know, rain washes soil away. I hadn't realized how much soil, until I went out and saw some of my cat Kimba's bones sticking out from the ground.

I don't know how to deal with this.

OMFG AN UPDATE

1st. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW ALICE?!

Well... My room is almost clean, the walls are being covered with random crap... And yeah...

My brain has been very much weird today. One minute I think too much, the next minute I'm stupid then the next I'm talking about twilight. It must be the pills. 

But yeah, I don't have much to say, I've got some serious artists block going on! I look at the pencil and sketchpad and my hands feel so weak! D: It's a bit of a worry. 

Also.

Avenue Q is awesome!!!

I should probably take something to fix my brain today... It doesn't seem to be working at all! D:

...

...

Oh! And I'm all better :)

Yay!

Uh... Yeah, that is all!

~LovelyLesbian

Doctors Tomorrow!

Yeah, that's right, I have been sick for the past 2 weeks!!! D: dun dun duuuunnnn. But my father has finally decided to take me to the doctor! :D yay!

In primary school (elementary for you Americans) we learnt about types of friends

There are two types! Here they are :

Fair Weather Friends: The title pretty much describes itself, they are there when they want to be there, if something goes wrong, they will NEVER show up. These are the friends you don't want... Unfortunately, they are also the most common.

True Friends: The hardest friends to find, they are the friends who will stick by your side no matter what! And You have to hold on tight to them, because they are worth keeping :)

Now, why am I talking about this? Because a few friends along with myself have been discovering how bad fair weather friends can make you feel, they don't want to hang out with you and they are only around when they want to be around, which pretty much leaves you at home, alone and miserable. IT SUCKS big time.

The way I overcame it was to tell these people how I felt about the way they treated me. It may not always turn out the way you plan it... But it works.

Anyway, I went to Midsumma yesterday :) it was heaps of fun!

I got two badges, which had these on them:

Annnd I got a shirt, like this one except grey :)

So yeah, that was pretty awesome :D

And I think I was pretty popular with the ladies ;) haha.

So yeah, that's enough from me, cya!

OH MY...! I'm lazy

Well, I have not been outside in the past 9 days because I've been sick ON THE STUPID HOLIDAYS!!!!

Anyway, I'm sure everyone has heard about the flash floods in Queensland. All I can say is that my heart goes out to everyone involved, everyone who is dead or missing and everyone who knows someone who is dead or missing. You have my love. <3

Lately I've been doing artwork for people, because I aim to draw every day to help improve my art  :) it's a plan that I hope will work! :D if you wanna view my art you can go here:

sleeping-fairie.deviantart.com

I'm slowly but surely getting healthier... I just feel like a bit of a loner while I'm sick DX

I have officially become a vampire (without the glitter and blood sucking) I stay up till dawn, then sleep till night. haha! The teenage mind during holidays. If they had high school take place during night people would probably do better in school... Us teenagers aren't day people after all :)

No Internet Makes Me Cranky.

So this is my 6th day of being sick... All I can think of is "Why does someone out there hate me!?" if it was during school I probably wouldn't complain so much... But these are the holidays!!! D: I'll have no holiday at this rate.

So yesterday I had no internet... Don't know why, I guess my laptop just hates me =\ So after sleeping for half the day, I decided to do my English homework (dun dun duun!) Anyway, for English I pretty much need to find articles related to 'Identity and Belonging' and stick them in some sort of folio or something like that... I also need to write a story about a catastrophe and have identity and belonging somewhere in that... I also need to read this book called 'Year of Wonders' by Geraldine Brooks... Normally that would be easy for me, but the book jumps from one time period to another, which confuses the hell out of me and makes it very VERY hard for me to follow the actual story >_< Which I'm sure would be good. If I could understand it. So yeah, thats pretty much my one complaint about homework over and done with.

You know how as kids we are told the story of 'Jack and the Beanstalk'? About how a kid sells a cow for magic beans that turn into a massive vine in the sky with a giant in it. Well as a kid I believed that 'God' was a giant that lived in the clouds... See the connection?

Fe Fi Fo Fum! I smell the blood of an Englishman!

Sick Diets Suck. I Want Watermelon

Well today I joined Minus18, which is a great group for the LGBTI community, sometimes it helps to have friends that know what you're going through and all. Unfortunately it's only in Melbourne (personally I think they should be everywhere) There are places all over Australia... Though I know Sydney's only organization (Twenty-ten) is coming off as a fairly exclusive thing... You know, the whole "If you aren't part of the group, get out!" sorta thing, which is sad ):

The good news is that I am on a strict diet of blueberries, chamomile and peppermint tea, white rice, mashed potatoes without butter or milk, plain toast and good ol' bananas... I'm gonna die DX

There's also Joy 94.9 which is a gay and lesbian radio station  in Melbourne, so if I have any Melbourne readers, give it a listen, the music isn't always good, but the talking is funny and often reassuring. It makes me not want to kill everyone XD so in other words it lifts my mood! You can also listen to it online, so it's not really limited to us Melbourne folk.

Also, so I sound more like an advertisement, I just found out about the Midsumma festival, It's on the 16th of Jan 11am-6pm  I'll be there, and hope you will be there too! :D

Huzzah!

I HAVE FINALLY FINISHED 3/4 OF MY HOMEWORK! All I have left now is English... Which has A LOT of stuff to do... And I'm very lazy... So Naturally I'm in denial.

I think I also have 2 things I need to do for art... But I can't remember that :3

Anyway, day 2 of babysitting my monstrous little brother and I wake up at 5am vomiting and sh*tting... Not a good look for me. I guess I really am full of sh*t! I also have a temp of 38.7... Fun fun fun. Someone kill me now.

So, uh yeah... That's pretty much it for today. Toodaloo!

Misery Rants. Fun.

F*ck it sucks being single. I'm just not used to being this lonely. It just sucks big time. It really does. I just want some girl just to hold close to me, so that I know I'm not alone, so I can know I'm loved, even if it's for reasons that aren't so great. But I know I can't. I'd feel so unbelievably guilty because I couldn't love them back because for about 7 years now someone very special to me has had my heart, I'm just not to sure if she knows it. I love her. And if you don't like it, you can go $&%$$%*$%*&$#&%#& $&$#&%$#$#*$#* $$%$%# yourself :)

I've got so much time on my hands it's not funny. But I'm not in the right mood to apply for a job... Because they want you to be all happy and not shockingly miserable and looking anorexic right? I'm too deep down in the dumps to even want to get out of bed, I just need to find something to occupy myself. I really, really need something to occupy me. Anything.

It feels hard to trust anybody or anything at the moment. I feel like I'm suffering betrayal after betrayal after betrayal. I could pretty much say that my spirit has been broken.

I heard about "Corrective Rape" in South Africa through a causes email last night. It seriously disgusts me. I'll need to do a bit more research into it, but they are pretty much saying its a "cure" for same sex orientated people, and you know what? The Government completely ignores it, and the protesters. I haven't been this horrified in a very long long time. Why does it always feel like everything needs to change? I just wish everything could be perfect. Even just for a moment.

Well, sorry about the rant, I needed it out of my system.

Thanks for putting up with me <3

My Mouth Tastes Like Fish.

It really does.
It's so weird.
I don't think I have eaten fish lately
Have I?
I don't think so...

Like my picture? Yeah.. Tablet is pretty much dead DX

I've decided to play around with the blog editing stuff, I'm have a bit of fun XD

In truth I have nothing much to say, except an amazing friend and sister like person has a blog, check it out! 

http://achluomania.blogspot.com

It feels pointless saying this because she is the only person following my blog, ah well.

Taking mother to the airport!

Goodnight!